Going Good

So this past week has been pretty good. I've been tracking everything I eat and working out when I can. I've done Zumba for the past 3 days and I think that is too much Zumba. I enjoy it but I think variety is a good thing for me. I still haven't gotten up early to go to the early morning classes, but this next week I'm going to do it. Cliff has spring break so it will be easier to do a trial run.

Eating healthy has been going pretty well too. Like I said I've been tracking everything so that is good. I still want to eat too much sugary stuff. I made rice krispie treats with Calvin yesterday and I have a hard time leaving them alone. Even at this exact moment I'm contemplating whether or not I should have one. I'm not going to though. I'm going to brush my teeth instead. So there! Take that rice krispie treat. I will eat you another day...just not now because I am better than you! Boo ya!

So over all things are going good.

One more thing

Something else that I am trying to come to terms with is that losing weight and being healthy and changing my lifestyle isn't going to happen over night. When people diet they expect results right away but those results will quickly fade as burn out happens or you stop dieting and go back to your old habits. I want to change my habits permanently and I'm trying to accept that it is going to be a process. I might not be bikini ready by the time summer roles around, and that's ok. Hopefully I will be healthier and more fit by then and I can be proud of my accomplishments and resolve. And hopefully that will also reflect on the scale and my pant size, but the number on the scale isn't the only indicator of success. If I can run faster and further, and work out harder and exercise self discipline and moderation around food, then I will have found success as well. I need to keep those ideas in mind more and focus less on the results on the scale.

Self Sabotage

Self Sabotage. I'm pretty much the queen of it. I get stuck in this mental rut of feeling like I have to plan everything out (especially when it comes to eating right and exercising) that if I don't have a plan I might as well eat 10 cookies and sit and watch TV for five hours after the kids go to bed. Sometimes I over complicate things and just need to relax and keep things simple.

On the other hand, it's nice to have a plan and know what I am working for specifically. It gives a sense of accomplishment and I feel like I am working towards some goal. One of the things that I would really like to be able to do for myself is to go to bed earlier at night and wake up early enough to go to the gym before the kids wake up. The rec center has some pretty good classes that they offer in the morning that I think would be fun to go to. The only downside is that I'm afraid these classes are going to be pretty hardcore since they are called Metabollic max and are offered at 5:30 in the morning. Pretty intense, right? But I'm going to do it this week. I've been wanting to do it for the past couple of weeks, but I haven't been going to bed at a good time, and I've been sick so those have led me to do absolutely nothing.

I haven't stepped on a scale in the past couple of weeks of because I'm terrified of what it will say. I've probably gained weight and that is just really depressing because I know I did it to myself. I know the choices I make are not healthy and I need to stop that. Tomorrow I plan on going to the gym first thing in the morning, and then I'm going to go grocery shopping so hopefully I'll be able to pick up so healthy yummy things to snack on so I can fill my body with good things. I'm excited and I hope I can do well!

Wish me luck!