Revisit to Health

The past couple of weeks have not been so great for me. I tried to do a no carb diet with my in-laws and after about 3 days I felt so sick. That is definitely not the way to go for me. But it did show me that I can have a lot of self control if I really put myself to it.

So now I'm left with what to do now. There is a part of me that just wants to accept that I am the size I am and just enjoy myself. But I'm not happy with how I look or feel. I eat like an out of control ten year old. It's not good.  And I think I have this idea that I diet and then I need a break so I take a few days off and since it's my break I pig out like none other thinking, this is my only chance to eat all these foods.

My plan is to not take a day off. I'm going to eat healthy and if there is something that I really really want I will eat it in moderation so that way I don't feel like I'm depriving myself. Also, I do need to cut my sugary treat intake. It's really ridiculous and I'm probably going to make myself sick the way that I've been eating and that is the last thing I want. I need to be healthy because I know better. I know better than to be stuffing my face. And besides just health reason, I can't fit into my old fat pants and that is just embarrassing.

My plan is to workout in the mornings. Wake up early and make it to the gym first thing. I need to go to bed earlier at night so that I can do that. And even if I don't make it first thing, I can always take the kids in the morning as well. I like exercising and it makes me feel good, but it has been hard to be consistent at it, and I could make a ton of excuses for myself, but that is not going to help me any. I know I can be doing better than what I have been.

I think there is a sense of perfectionism that I carry while I'm trying to lose weight. If I can't make it to the gym consistently and I'm not eating healthy 100% than I feel like what's the point. I can do better than that and I know it.

I want to do it for me. I will be healthy and I will be strong. I will have strong self discipline and I will make the sacrifices that I need to make to achieve what I want.